The Girthmonster
by davedavedave
Summary: Deep down, everybody wishes they had a girthmonster.
1. You and me baby

Hermione groaned softly as she opened her eyes, the bright sunlight filtering through the window temporarily blinding her. She shifted her position on the bed and attempted to sit up when she felt herself being weighed down. She sleepily examined herself and noticed a heavy arm and leg thrown over her body.

Her mind tried to focus on who could be weighing her down but it was like trying to find a needle in a haystack at this time in the morning, she was just too tired to concentrate. She felt the weight of the person shift into her and a head snuggle into her shoulder, moaning softly as they did so. Hermione felt the moan run through her body, sending shivers down her spine. She smiled as she remembered who the man beside her was as vague recollections of the night before entered her mind, the number of times her body had succumbed to pleasure at the hands (and other things) of this man.

He couldn't be anyone other than Ron Weasley, the only guy who had ever been able to excite Hermione and withdraw responses from her that up until a year ago she never would have thought possible.

"Hi gorgeous," he murmured, turning her around in his arms.

"Hi yourself," she replied back, grazing her mouth over his.

She felt him moan against her mouth as she slipped her tongue in and expertly began caressing his with her own. Ron reached around and grabbed Hermione's exposed butt cheek, forcefully pulling her towards him, pressing his newly awoken throbbing erection into her thigh. He then moved his hand up to the small of her back and began rubbing her in small movements as his tongue thrust deeper into her mouth.

Hermione gently pulled away from Ron, ignoring the moistness that was beginning to pool between her legs. Ron groaned softly as she pulled away. "We need to stop," Hermione panted, "we have class soon."

Ron began placing kisses on Hermione's neck, "Please?" he murmured as he gently began sucking on the skin.

"No Ron, we have a Care of Mythical Creatures lesson soon, we can't be late."

"Awww, come on," he moaned between kisses, adding cheekily, "I'll be quick, promise." Hermione pulled away to look Ron directly in the eye.

"Ron, that is _not_ a good thing."

"Yeah, but you love it."

At that, Ron hoisted himself over Hermione and thrust his tongue into her mouth once again, pressing himself to her. Hermione finally gave in to temptation as she could no longer hold back the feelings of excitement and want building within her as much as one could hold back the tide. She returned his kisses with as much passion as he was showing her as she rolled over, straddling Ron and inhaled a sharp breath as he pressed himself into her, his hands encircling her hips.

"Gods Hermione, you're so tight," he groaned. Hermione leaned forward to kiss Ron deeply before she began rocking her hips against him, gently at first as his hands roamed up her body to cup her breasts and his thumbs expertly working over the nipples. Hermione groaned at the little flicking action he performed on each nipple, knowing how much she enjoyed it.

Hermione threw her head back in ecstasy and began rocking faster, grinding her hips to his. Ron felt the change of pace in Hermione's movements and brought his hands back to her waist, guiding her thrusts and quickening his own pace to match hers, feeling his orgasm grow closer as he knew hers must be.

"Ohhh Ron," moaned Hermione between breaths.

The raw emotion in Hermione's voice was enough to draw any final control Ron had from him, he wanted, no, he _needed_ to come. Now. Suddenly Ron flipped Hermione over, placing his hands at the sides of her head so as to take his weight from her slightly and continued his thrusting in and out of her.

"Harder Ron, harder," she began screaming, knowing she would soon reach her peak and wanted to enjoy every possible moment of it. Ron began grunting, his breathing becoming shallower as he plunged harder, deeper and faster into his girlfriend, losing himself completely in the moment and barely hearing her screams as he could feel his orgasm coming closer than ever, knowing it would happen at any moment.

"Hurry, Hermione, come, _come_!"

Hermione thrust herself harder against Ron but and all he was able to comprehend was the feel of Hermione's glistening, naked body as he repeatedly slammed into it all the time begging her to come. He finally teetered over the edge and spilled himself into her with one final thrust before collapsing against her.

"Wow," was all Hermione could manage to utter as she fell back onto the pillow, spent.

"Wow indeed," agreed Ron.


	2. Aint nothin but mammals

The GirthMonster

Chapter 2 – Ain't Nothin' but Mammals

"Hermione, ye'h late," Hagrid said as she made her way into her Care of Magical Creatures lesson.

"Sorry Hagrid," Hermione smiled apologetically as she took her seat next to Harry.

"'S not like you ter be late, ye'h feelin' alright?" Inquired Hagrid.

"Fine thanks," Hermione replied, "I was just in the library and lost track of time."

"Well, best not make a habit of it, eh?" Hagrid said as he turned to the rest of the class. "Now, where were we?"

Lavender Brown raised her hand, giggling... "You were explaining the purpose of a..." she paused to giggle again before continuing, "...a GirthMonster."

"Ah right...thank you Lavender, well as I was saying; GirthMonster's originated from Switzerland 'n discovered around the 14th Century-"

"Where have you been?" whispered Harry once Hagrid's attention averted.

"I just said, _Library_."

"Are you sure?" asked Harry with a knowing smile, Ron was also suspiciously absent from the lesson.

"Of course I'm sure," Hermione hissed, "I spend enough time in there to know when I'm there or not. Honestly Harry," she sighed turning her attention away from Harry to pay attention to today's lesson and began making notes. Harry also turned his attention to Hagrid's lesson and began making his own notes.

Hermione was concentrating deeply on Hagrid's description of a GirthMonster, which, in Hermione's opinion sounded pretty damn interesting. Apparently they weren't called GirthMonster's for no reason, they were well known for their, well, rather gifted nether regions.

In layman's terms they had long thick members, way more than any man could ever dream of and the kind of girth that women would eternally long to have inside of them.

Hermione considered this for a moment. _Just how big is this GirthMonster?_ Hermione had read about them, of course, but she'd never actually _seen_ one, even the books containing passages about them had never actually had pictures of them in. Hermione's thoughts drifted to Ron and his own girth, she personally thought that Ron was quite well equipped _down there_. She'd never complained anyway and she certainly never gone un-pleasured.

Not that Hermione had anything to compare Ron to, after all he had been her first and only sexual partner so she had no other basis for judgement, not that she needed it to know that the boy was very well equipped and _well_ above average himself. This only served to raise her curiosity of the GirthMonster; if Ron was big then this GirthMonster had to be _huge_.

Ron came through the door into the classroom while Hermione was mentally picturing the GirthMonster. Well not exactly the GirthMonster, more like a 6ft 4" well-built, toned ginger haired Quidditch player so well hung he was touching the floor.

_This was her idea of a GirthMonster _

"Ron, ye'h late, you been in the Library n'all?" Ron looked sheepish as he paused by the door to explain to Hagrid that he'd been to see Professor Snape about a detention that he had later that day.

"Ruddy Snape n' his detentions keepin' students out of my lessons," Hagrid muttered more to himself than to anyone else. "Right Ron, take ye'h seat."

Ron shared a knowing look with Hermione as he sat down, making Hermione blush slightly. She knew he never had detention at all that night, a fact that didn't escape Harry either as he asked Ron if he'd had _fun _with Snape this morning.

"Shut up Harry," replied Ron, seemingly not embarrassed at all that Harry obviously knew exactly what she and Ron had been up to earlier on, whereas Hermione on the other hand was mortified that Harry now knew for certain that she and Ron were sexually active. This was more embarrassing that last summer at The Burrow when Mrs Weasley had walked in on Ron and Hermione snogging in Ginny's room.

Hermione tried to hide her embarrassment by paying even more attention to Hagrid's explanation of a GirthMonster and their purpose in the wizarding world. He explained how they were used to fertilise soil as they created special chemicals from their semen that was able to speed up the growth rates of plants, making them very handy things for herbologists to have. This must have intrigued Neville Longbottom whom Hermione knew to be considering a career in Herbology.

"How exactly does it fertilise the soil Hagrid?" he asked.

"Well it's got ta' have contact wi' the soil itself, so you need to insert it into the ground when it's aroused and leave it there for about an hour fer it to finish it's job. When it's finished ye'h just take it out again n' wait for ye'h plants to grow," Hagrid explained.

"So it can't be put into the ground unless it's aroused?" Neville inquired.

"That's right," unless you want to injure them a bit," he laughed.

"Well how does it become aroused? Do we have to wait until we see it aroused or are there ways we can arouse them ourselves?" asked Seamus.

"Well, ye'h can arouse them yeh'selves when ye'h need your plants fertilising, then you need to insert it into the ground as soon as possible." Hermione heard muffled giggles coming from Lavender and Parvati's direction when Seamus asked how to arouse it.

"Quite easily really," replied Hagrid, "It needs stimulating like us, so ye'h jus' need to stroke it for a while 'till it becomes aroused. Tell ye'h what, I'll just show you, shall I?" At that Hagrid strode over to a wooden crate that Hermione hadn't noticed earlier, picked it up and placed it on a nearby desk.

Hermione noticed the breathing holes carved in the side of the crate as Hagrid opened it and lifted the GirthMonster out. He held it out so that the class were able to see the GirthMonster, there were a few "Ooohs" coming from some people as they admired the shimmering vibrant colours of the GirthMonster, its various shades of blues, purples and pinks adorning it's scales; all reflecting off each other to create a sort of Rainbow effect.

The body of the GirthMonster was a foot long and shaped, Hermione thought, quite like a spike-less hedgehog with its legs disproportionate to its body. Not that Hermione was overly concerned with this aspect of the GirthMonster, no; what Hermione was more interested in was what Hagrid was about to show the class, gently turning the GirthMonster over in his hands so the underneath was exposed to them. Hermione was shocked when she noticed the GirthMonster's well, er, _lack_ of girth.

The underside of the GirthMonster was surprisingly flat without any trace of genitalia, making Hermione wonder whether a more appropriate name would be a Girth-_less_Monster.

"Right," began Hagrid, "firs' thing ye'h should all know about GirthMonster's is tha' they're a lot like Phallymonks when it comes te' bein' aroused, they need a lot of persuasion to get aroused and once they do get aroused their arousal grows out."

Hagrid noticed the puzzled looks he was receiving from the class so proceeded to demonstrate to the class what he meant by beginning to gently stroke the GirthMonster between it's hind legs, going rather slowly at first but with time applying more pressure and increasing the pace of his strokes. The class sat in silence; all eyes focused on the GirthMonster as it began to grow under Hagrid's touch. Ever so slowly Hermione watched as a penis began to evolve from between the GirthMonster's legs, growing rather rapidly at first but slowing down eventually so Hermione could examine its full length.

The GirthMonster's penis had stretched out to over three times its body length and was stood to attention so much so that it was practically poking out Lavender Browns eye as she was sat in the front row of the class. Hagrid stopped the rubbing of the GirthMonster once it was fully aroused and turned it so that the class could see what a fully aroused GirthMonster looked like.

Hermione took a sharp intake of breath at the full length of the GirthMonster, it was certainly longer than Ron that was for sure and was at least three times wider too. Hermione stole a glance over to Ron to see what his reaction to the GirthMonster was. She noticed a look of amusement on his face as he eyed the GirthMonster before he turned his head towards Hermione, as if he could feel her looking at him.

"_That guy's bigger than I am_," he mouthed silently.

Hermione nodded in agreement and mouthed back, "_I'd rather do you any day_." Hermione was almost shocked at how bold she had become over the past year, but this reaction was quickly ignored when Ron grinned back at her and winked his special wink. This simple gesture sent a shiver of longing so deep down her spine that she gently bit on her lower lip

_Not now Hermione, not now. _

Hermione tried again to concentrate on Hagrid's lecture but it was becoming increasingly more difficult as she could now feel a hand slowly gliding up her left thigh, squeezing gently before continuing to roam further up underneath her robe. Ron's fingers played with her panties for a little while before a roaming thumb slipped underneath them to brush against her vagina, massaging it slightly although not applying for entry.

Hermione wanted to know how Harry or anyone else for that matter had not noticed this little action that Ron had begun to perform on her. True they were both still 'paying attention' to Hagrid's lesson but Ron's arm was definitely at an odd angle and stretched a little too far away from his own body. Hermione chanced a look around the room but no one was paying much attention to what was happening between her and Ron, the class were more interested in the lesson.

Even the Ravenclaw's were taking a special interest this morning, especially at the point when Hagrid announced that they had to get into pairs to stimulate their own GirthMonster to see if they could produce semen to fully grow a Mimbulus Mimbletonia in under a week.

"Want to pair up mate?" Harry asked Ron, totally oblivious to what was going on under the table. Ron nodded silently as he pushed his forefingers up into Hermione who gasped, biting her lower lip harder.

"Ron, not now," Hermione hissed once Harry moved away to get a GirthMonster.

"You want me to stop?"

Hermione nodded, "You and Harry should get on with your work, this might be important for your NEWTs. They are only seven months away, you know."

Ron laughed and removed his hand from underneath Hermione's robes, "You'll never change," he said.

"Would you want me to?" questioned Hermione, slightly put out.

"Never," Ron reassured her, "Besides, where am I going to find a girl as dirty as you?"

"Slytherin?" suggested Hermione.

Ron looked disgusted, "I said dirty, not ugly."

"Well, you could always..." Hermione stopped mid sentence as Harry came back over and put two crates onto the desk, each containing a GirthMonster.

Ron examined the crates containing the GirthMonster's, "How come those crates are much smaller than the one Hagrid's GirthMonster was in?" he asked.

"I don't know," replied Harry shaking his head.

"Maybe Hagrid's GirthMonster is fully grown," pondered Hermione logically, "and the ones he's given us are just babies."

"I don't doubt you're right," said Harry casting a look about the room, "Who're you working with?" he asked Hermione.

She looked about the room too; noticing everyone else was already paired up, minus Neville. Hermione paused when she saw the Patil twins in the corner trying to arouse their GirthMonster.

She watched as Padma straddled the GirthMonster, trying to hold it still while Parvati reached around, grasped its member in her hands and began pumping furiously in an attempt to get it to spill its load. It seems Hermione was not the only one to notice this, as other _male_ members of the class had stopped what they were doing to watch two of the prettiest girls in Hogwarts bent over a Girthmonster and tugging at it in an attempt to make it release its juices.

The GirthMonster was obviously enjoying it too, not only was it being aroused by both of the Patil twins but it also had its head stuck up Padma's robes, clearly exciting her as she was quivering gently as she was losing her grip on the GirthMonster. To Hermione it looked as though Padma was trying to pull the GirthMonster further under her robe.

"Man that thing has stamina," whispered Harry, "If I had those two writhing over me like that I'd have filled my robes by now."

Hermione laughed as she looked at other male members of the class again, "Somehow Harry," she mused, "I don't think you're the only one!"


	3. So lets do it

Hermione had certainly found more pleasure in studying lately than she had done since she had arrived at Hogwarts. It was not that she hadn't enjoyed studying before; she had; only now she had certain study aids and the task of studying had become more of a fun game than a task at all.

Sitting in the library later that afternoon after Hagrid's lesson, Hermione was very thankful for being given the opportunity to use these study aids to her benefit. Especially since, in the past ten minutes her foot had been tracing a line towards a certain study aid's hard, pulsating member; finally making contact.

Ron's eyes were scanning the pages of his textbook erratically, his breath coming in short, raspy breaths as he tried desperately to concentrate on what he was reading. Hermione leaned in closer, applying more pressure as she did so. She smiled, noticing the slight perspiration appearing on his brow and his eyes, unfocused and fighting to roll back into his head.

His hand reached over the table and took Hermione's. "Oh god," he rasped, "you're driving me crazy. Please don't stop." Ron punctuated the sentence by biting so severely on his lower lip that Hermione half expected him to draw blood.

'_Time for the tease'_, thought Hermione.

She swiftly removed her foot away from his protruding member and pulled his hand toward her to cup her breast as she leaned in further over the table so that her head was near Ron's.

"What the...?" he looked dazed by the sudden lack of contact between them.

"Shhh," whispered Hermione in his ear, "I'm going to make you come, but you have to earn it first. I won't take anything less than 'Acceptable'."

"Hermione," Ron pleaded, "touch me."

"No," Hermione remained firm, "not until you tell me."

"Tell you what?" questioned Ron, confusion furrowing his brow.

"I want you to tell me..." Hermione trailed off, pressing Ron's hand even harder against her firm, adolescent breast. She felt Ron moan huskily against her ear and could feel Goosebumps course throughout her body. She started again, "Tell me..." another moan escaped Ron's mouth before she continued, "...Who is your Daddy and what does he do?!"

Hermione released Ron's hand and fell against the back of her chair laughing at the bewildered look on Ron's face.

"I don't get it," he said, "you know who my dad is. Why did you stop?"

Hermione bit back her laughter and apologised to Ron, stating it was a 'muggle thing'.

"I knew muggles were weird," stated Ron, "but I never knew they were just plain, damn cruel too."

"Cruel how?" asked Hermione, leaning back towards Ron, tracing her hands back up his inner thigh and reaching once more for his still alert member. She grasped it firmly in one hand and began pumping him again so hard he almost jumped out of his seat.

"Was _that_ cruel Ron?"

Ron shook his head vigorously "...just...fine," he croaked, closing his eyes slightly.

"Good...good..." Hermione whispered, releasing her grip a little and slowing down her pace dramatically. "Open your eyes, Ron."

Ron obeyed and met Hermione's eye, "you're beautiful," he said breathlessly.

"You're only saying that because you're getting your rocks off! Now stop with the teenage emotions and carry on with the task in hand."

"But Hermione, the _task_ is in _your_ hand," Ron pointed out smiling devilishly.

Hermione sighed, annoyed, "The text book, Ron. You have a History of Girthmonsters essay to get finished before you even consider leaving this library."

"Believe me, Hermione, for the past thirty minutes leaving this library has been the last thing on my mind."

Hermione stopped her hand mid-thrust, "Ronald," she chastised.

"What? Can't you just continue? Please?" he started to beg, "I'm dying here. You're taking too long." Ron's eyes met hers and he was trying to put on one of his most pleading puppy-dog looks. Hermione was having none of it. They'd been here before and she was used to his pleading, he should have known by now that it didn't work.

"Ok Ron, first of all, at least one of us takes their time; thank Merlin for saving graces," ("hey!" complained Ron, pathetically)

"And second of all," continued Hermione, "You are NOT going to die if you don't come soon, nobody ever died from delayed ejaculation!"

"I'm sure I heard of this one case-"

"Nobody, Ron! Now, unless you want me to stop altogether, you'll play the game. You know the rules."

Ron sighed heavily, knowing he had been defeated. He should have known from the start that he wasn't going to win. He never won. Hermione always found a way to defeat him in games like this. His penis and he had been faithful, loyal friends since he was 12, but since Hermione had come along and taken over Ron's right-handed role, he'd found his penis siding with her more and more often, leaving Ron feeling helpless during Hermione's lack of action.

More than once he had thought about finishing the job himself when Hermione had gotten him particularly aroused but he knew his dick would never accept that again. Why settle for bronze when you've already hit gold?

He pulled the _Encyclopaedia of Rare Beasts and Monsters_ closer to him and began to read. Hermione was right, he did know the rules; he'd have to work before he got to play.

"Girthmonsters," he began to read aloud to Hermione, "Were discovered in the 14th Century."

"Good, good," murmured Hermione, taking Ron in her hand once more. Ron swallowed a lump in his throat before continuing,

"They were discovered in Switzerland by Professor Oliver Lenin."

"Mm hmm..." hummed Hermione, continuing her strokes.

"They can live for over fifty years in any kind of climate."

"Really?" questioned Hermione, pausing briefly to tighten her grip before carrying on.

"Yeah," mumbled Ron, almost incoherently, "What's a climate?"

"Temperature."

"Oh. Ohhhh...."

"Shh. Carry on..."

Ron nodded fervently, "All Girthmonsters are male and collectively called a Chris," he had a confused look on his face again mixed with traces of pleasure that Hermione picked up on.

"It's like calling one bird a bird but calling more than one bird a flock," she explained gently.

Ron smiled, showing he understood then carried on with his reading, "Some Girthmonsters are larger than others, the largest of it's type are commonly called 'Waughys' and can produce up to ten times the amount of fluid than an average Girthmonster."

"Good. Very good, Ron," said Hermione

"Do you want me to continue?" asked Ron.

Hermione studied his face, though not pausing her strokes this time. Ron's eyes appeared glassy and more unfocused than they had been earlier. His breathing was also becoming more erratic by the second; it seemed cruel to stop now, he'd completed his half of the bargain, so therefore it was only fair that she completed hers.

"No," she said, "you just sit back. It's my turn to work now."

Ron seemed relieved as he leaned back in his chair, shifting his lower regions further towards Hermione for better access. Hermione adjusted her grip once more and began pumping again, pausing occasionally to squeeze here and there before carrying on.

Ron soon became short of breath and Hermione could feel his orgasm coming closer with every pump. He was once again biting hard on his lip, trying to control his body's reaction so as not to appear suspicious to anybody else in the library. Ron settled his inner turmoil by taking Hermione's hand in his own and guiding her up and down until he completed his release.

Oh god. Now his hand was sticky. He knew hers must be worse. Oh god, oh god. He wasn't supposed to go this far, he usually stopped before he went that far, it was much too public. Now he'd have to apologise to her. He found himself unable to meet her eye. _'Say something'_ his brain commanded _'Go! Now! Apologise!'_

Seconds passed and Ron still seemed unable to voice his thoughts. Hermione, the clever witch that she is, beat him to it. Wiping her hands on the underside of his robe, she suddenly piped up, "Don't you dare say you're sorry. I know you're not. Not really. Embarrassed; yes. Sorry; no."

Ron looked into her eyes and knew instantly she wasn't mad. Her eyes shone with mischief that made him smile instantly.

"I would have been lying anyway," he told her.

"I know," she replied, "and it doesn't matter."

"It doesn't?"

"No," she answered. She took her newly polished hand from underneath his robe and began packing away her books and completed essay into her bag.

"Where are you going?"

"To the common room," she replied hoisting her book bag over her shoulder then straitening her robes.

"Wha-? But; my essay..." Ron, still not fully composed, voiced his feeble protests.

Hermione scoffed, "Twenty minutes is more than enough time for you to finish that essay, Ronald. It's also more than enough time for me to get me towel from the dormitory and meet you in the prefect's bathroom."

"The prefect's bathroom?" Ron repeated, confused. "Why?"

"Because," she replied with that glint in her eye again, "you've been a very dirty boy!"

With that Hermione turned and abruptly left the library, leaving Ron slightly flushed but scribbling on his parchment as if his life depended on it.


End file.
